Hard Water Confusion
by eatingchocolate25
Summary: Percy was trying (and failing miserably) to do his Chemistry homework. Poseidon turns up and let's just say Percy might be a bit confused.


**Hi. Chocky here and I have actually written a story based on my chemistry classwork. **

**This counts as revision.**

**Anyway, I wrote this as a Christmas present for my friend ages ago but I never had a chance to upload it before. **

**Enjoy guys.**

**Hard Water Confusion**

Percy Jackson was doing his homework. More specifically, he was doing his Chemistry homework.

The son of Poseidon didn't often do his homework but he was doing this one piece because it was all about water. That and Chemistry was always his favourite subject in school. He had to research hard water and soft water and make a presentation about it. Theoretically, this was easy for him as he was the son of Poseidon.

And at that moment in time, Percy was sitting on a wooden chair painted blue, with all his work lying on his wooden table in front of him in his messy room. If his mother walked in to his room, she would not be amused at all. He was trying to work on the project, using the books he borrowed from Paul. Right then and there, though, he was annoyed because his dyslexia was making it really hard for him to read those damn books. Then, there was the little problem of him not being allowed to have a computer so he had to create the whole presentation by hand. That was not good because his handwriting was difficult to read and he couldn't spell at all. How on earth are you supposed to spell 'magnesium'?

To think he could be at camp; training or annoying Octavian with the temptation of his panda pets. But instead, he willingly chose to fail the one piece of homework he should be able to do. He was the son of Poseidon. He should be able to do this easily.

"Percy." Someone said from behind him. That was weird because he didn't hear anyone opening the bedroom door behind him. Looking up and then behind him, he was met with the sight of Poseidon. His father, Poseidon. The god of the sea, who really should be in the sea, swimming or annoying Triton.

"Father?" Poseidon was unsurprisingly wearing the usual Hawaiian shirt (this time in the a shocking shade of hot pink) and a pair of khaki shorts. He was also wearing a pair of pink flip flops, which matched the shirt. Weird clothes, considering the fact it was November in New York. It was freezing. It was supposed to snow next week.

"We need to talk." The god declared and then walked straight to Percy's unmade bed. The sea themed bed sheets were not made at all but that didn't put Poseidon off. He flopped down onto the bed, and turned to lie on his back with a large grin sporting his face. "Nice bed sheets."

"Thanks. And we do?" Percy hesitantly asked. He wasn't used to this. He hadn't seen his father in over a year. But for some reason, here Poseidon was. Lying on Percy's bed declaring a talk should happen, pretending nothing ever happened and their relationship was perfect.

"Yes we do. What I'm about to say is very important. I think you're now ready for this talk." Poseidon's large and mischievous grin was wiped off his face and was replaced by a slightly more serious expression.

"What talk?" Percy had no clue as to what the god that was strangely occupying his bed wanted to tell him.

"The most important talk of your life. I think now you're old enough for the talk. Now you're 17."

Percy's green eyes widened comically as he realised what Poseidon meant. THE Talk. The birds and the bees. Surely that wasn't what Poseidon meant? Right?

"B-but..." Percy stammered. He really didn't want that talk. He was trying to do his Chemistry homework, not trying to think about _that_.

"No Percy. I'm your father. I have to explain to you all about this. It's my job." The father of the horses dismissed the hero's whines. "It's not hard to get a grasp on how it works Percy..."

"Please don't do this to me." Percy quietly prayed to anyone who was listening that was not his father. Unsurprisingly, his prayers were not answered. The gods really loved seeing him suffer.

"Hard water is produced in places where there are lots of rocks containing calcium and magnesium ions." Poseidon continued. The hero of Olympus was shocked. So Poseidon didn't want to give him the talk about the birds and the bees but rather give him a talk about hard water? That was strange.

"Wait. So, you wanted to talk to me about hard water?" Percy was very confused.

"Of course. I saw you were doing your Chemistry homework and it was about water. As the god of the Sea and patron of Chemistry teachers, I thought that I could help you. It's about water. I know everything you need to know about water, Percy. With my help, I can change your grade in Chemistry from a C into an A*. And the same for Biology. Why? What did you think I was going to tell you about."

Percy started to blush like a tomato. "Nothing." He meekly replied, trying not to look at his father in the eye. He was still seated at the wooden table and turned back to look at his work.

"Oh. You thought I was going to give you the talk. Didn't you?"

"Uh... Yes."

"Well, if you'd rather, I can give you that talk instead. But I'd rather leave that to Paul. I'm sure Paul can't tell you all about water, can he. He might be able to tell you all about verbs and other boring English language things that no one actually cares about but you don't get more fun than water. Think about it. Without me, there are no water slides."

"No, please don't tell me about that." Percy quickly replied.

"Fine then. So hard water. You don't want to wash with that stuff..."


End file.
